Haha, this post from 101 Reasons to Stop Writing made my day.
My favorites:
#8. You opened your query with “Dear [DATA_AGENT_NAME]“.
If you are sending out a form letter, strike one. Do your research on the agent or editor you are soliciting; it’s important to get across to them why -they- should be the ones to publish this manuscript. But if you must send out that bulk form letter, at least make sure the formating is right. I’ve heard of this happening a lot actually from my friends, who as interns must tread through the slushpile until they are quite cross-eyed.
#7. Someone else already wrote The Da Vinci Code.
Again…research, research, research. Know your market, and if there is a book (or a bunch of books) already out there on the same subject and you’re are both pitching the same hook and info…good luck my friend.
(And this was a great one from one of the comments) -You described your main character as “quirky.”
Everyone has their own quirks, but being simply “quirky” says absolutely nothing about that character. While it is true that you don’t have the room in a query letter to drone on and on about every little fantastic detail, the writer must prove they know how to get the most bang for their buck with each word. Hunt down and destroy those filler word and blanket terms, young Jedi, before you apply that postage.
One that I would add to this list in regards to electronic submissions: Be mindful of the e-mail you put down for yourself, even if you are submitting genre fiction. RivendellGrl or DarkVampress are not at all professional, and you will be the topic of a water-cooler laugh riot.
*Disclaimer* The E-mail addresses mentioned above are hypothetical examples.
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